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:( [Jun. 25th, 2005|10:24 pm]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |scars- paparoach]

I honestly think that this world is truly changing for the worst. WE've all become so superficial and materialistic. It truly disgusts me. Like I remember when I was little and it was near Christmas, I started crying to my mom that I don't want any presents and that Santa should give all my presents to poorer kids. Fuck I've changed too damn much. Like how often do any of us think about these issues. Not very often thats for sure, nobody has time to think about anything other than themselves. Yeah, those were just some thoughts going on in my head.

I went to Jess' party yesterday, it was pretty fun, but it made me really sad to see the things I'm going to be missing out on next year. And it also pissed me off that Alanna went away for an hour and didn't even bother to tell me where she was going. Whatever man. So I went home and cried.

Today my mom "accidentally" told my dad about Xtian living with Alanna, because he wasn't supposed to know. So I'm not allowed to go to her house anymore. And they've been talking about disconnecting my internet. And have been pressuring me to get a job. I think they're trying to make me antisocial. Like fuck, I wasnt even supposed to go to Jess' party, but I had to beg and grovel. I don't understand what they're trying to do, by isolating me from everyone. As far as I can tell, Xtian living with Alanna is none of my business and its not theirs either.

This afternoon I went to an anniversary. All my cousins were there and they showed me the pictures from the farm. I look like ass. You know, I wish I was more like my cousins. They're like so beautiful and they go out and have fun and they never get depressed. They just don't give a shit about what people think about them. I wish I could take on that attitude. They're just so confidant, you know, in the ultra short mini skirts and like, walking all tall. I bounced on the trampoline, and I'm thinking of getting one myself at my farm. It relieved alot of stress.

Good luck to those who have an exam on Monday

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haha [Jun. 16th, 2005|03:40 pm]
[mood |okayokay]
[music |no transitory- alexisonfire]

Emo Boyfriend
Favourite Color
His Name Andy
His Looks/Style Curly-ish brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin, labret pierced, tight tshirts, tight pants, skate shoes
How you met CD Store
How he tells you he loves you Gives you flowers every day
What he calls you Hunny
How far you've gone everything but sex
This Quiz by _shelovedaboy - Taken 222388 Times.
New - Help with love and dating!

look....it says we do everything but sex.....lucky:)
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the hangover I didn't deserve- maybe [May. 23rd, 2005|05:03 pm]
Okay, to start off, yes I'm writing in Livejournal because alot of stuff happened this weekend that I truly want to remember. So, I'm starting from Friday.

**Friday May 20**
I went to school as usual, although my cousin was supposed to get me out of a test. I missed Krissay because she was gone. After school I quickly packed to go to my farm and finally got there around 6. From that, we went to go get my cousin at there farm 5 minutes away. I'm going to introduce all the people that were there now: my cousins (charlane, stephanie, michelle), their guy friends (marco, ace, danny, brian, steve, and justin) and their girl friends (magen, diana, amanda, joy, nancy, jess and some others i do not remember). I found them all at the back of the farm stuck in the mud, so my dad had to pull them out. Then me and michelle went back to my farm for the night. By the way, at this point I thought Ace was hot.

**Saturday May 21**
My cousin Charlane picked me and Michelle up to spend the day at their farm. It was only 10:00 in the morning and most of the guys were already smashed. We just hung around, talked, and cooked hamburgers. But since I wasn't hungry, I didn't eat anything. Not even at breakfast. So thats pretty much how the day went, until night came. I started to drink around 9:00 and finished around 11:00. According to Ace, everytime he saw me I had a different drink in my hand and that I chugged down a couple beers in front of him. At around 11:00 I was completely smashed and was falling everywhere so I went to lie down inside with my cousin. I had this feeling I was going to be sick, and I was right. So my cousin quickly called Danny who helped me get all the vomit out. Not much I can remember, but I do remember puking.

**Sunday May 22**
I woke up with the biggest headache, my beautiful hangover, etty much hung around that day, talked to people, and how they said my puke was purple and a raccon ate my puke. Bitch. All the parents came in the afternoon for a barbecue, the first real meal I had eaten all weekend. After all the parent left, my cousin made me promise not to drink anything that night. Although I didn't, I wasn't wasted. At around 11:00, to my fucking surprise, Ace blasts TBS. He's inside mixing some weed. So we're both singing along to "cute without the 'e' (cut from the team)" and he asks me if i want some. I say no, but I can tell I was getting high a little off the fumes. At this point, me and Ace are alone together and we start talking about how we're both going to Edgefest and how he went to the Blink182 and TBS concert. And then he played Alexisonfire (I thought of Jess). So I found out that Ace lives like so close to Joan! And close to me. So we pretty much talked for awhile longer, and sang, then we went to sleep.

**Monday May 23**
Not much happening, just cleaning the site up. I smell really bad from all the puking and weed. But I'm okay. I'm actually pretty excited about Ace, he's beautiful. So after everyone left, I was alone at my farm. My dad screams at me to hurry up and come to him so I'm like running and he found an abandoned baby deer. So me, being the animal lover I am, quickly took the deer from my dad and inspected it for injuries. it was just suffereing from major shock. It was beautiful, holding the baby deer in my arms and feeding it milk.
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(no subject) [May. 11th, 2005|08:25 pm]
[mood |scaredscared]

I'm so fucking tired of this bullshit. You know, like I don't like writing in this thing. Whats the point of having people read ur thoughts, when thoughts weren't meant to be known by others. So thats my official goodbye to LiveJournal. Yea, so I'm never writing in it again.
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allergic attack:> [Apr. 30th, 2005|11:14 am]
[mood |creativecreative]
[music |my moms cool portuguese tunes]

Today was fun. I didn't go to school because of some family confusion so it felt so nice to just sleep in a little bit. During the day I just practiced my ollies, and got them in the air but I don't land on the deck. Oh well, its an improvement. My neighbour, Anthony, shall be proud of me because his hard work of teaching me hoe to ollie finally payed off. Then at night I went to Krissay's house. We ate pizza and went for walks to Markella's house. She didn't answer her door so I went to Justin's house. He was at work. Then we went back to Krissay's to chill. Jess wasn't home, but I saw her brother named Jorje. I got so excited. And I started writing a story. Or at least got the main characters and important events down.
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**yawns** [Apr. 19th, 2005|04:38 pm]
[mood |curiouscurious]
[music |down- something corporate]

OKie...time 4 an update of the past days that I havent written. ON Friday night, my homies (Kris, emo. lawren, twins, daniela, sonia, tanya, ronnie et maddie) came over to my house. We got high off red bull. Met some emotional times. Then all weekend sarah my wife came to the farm with me. We got honked at my hot boys. Couldn't tell if they were emo or not. Was great fun. And today I went on a religion trip. IM so tired I just had to drink a big ass glass of coffee so i dont sleep during work tonite. Plus i have 2 study 4 a test when I get back....sux hardcore. O yeah....i forgot to mention the highlite of my week..I have an admirer....interesting i know....what 2 do :|
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(no subject) [Apr. 7th, 2005|07:27 pm]
[music |silver buller -HH]

lovely isnt it....how i'm falling apart....both physically and emotionally

the salty tears have never tasted so bitter
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Da Dum [Mar. 29th, 2005|07:47 pm]
[mood |pissed offpissed off]
[music |featuring some of your favourite words- from first to last]

Well, today was rather boring. I wenting skating with my interesting neighbour and his friends. Whom are also very interesting. Actually, more like I talked to them whle they skated because I was afraid my pants were gonna fall down. Seeing as nobody wants to come to my house on Friday night, I'll just spend it alone, watching movies all by myself. Malls are made for money spending, and I have no money. So my Friday night line-up is: practice ollies, watch the notebook, hang out with my neighbour and go to bed. Without my neighbour obviously cuz that would be sexual.

On to more serious matters. I so feel like this whole entire fucking year has been a waste of my time. I made friends and stuff and now since I'm going to have to move, it's all going away. People say they'll stay in touch but its all bullshit. I've gone to like 4 schools, and I don't really even know my old friends anymore. So it's the most pathetic feeling, when you're friendships are going to end.
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(no subject) [Mar. 24th, 2005|07:50 pm]
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||| 16%
Stability |||||| 30%
Orderliness |||||| 26%
Empathy |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Interdependence |||||||||||| 50%
Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56%
Mystical |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Hedonism |||||||||||||| 56%
Materialism || 10%
Narcissism |||||| 23%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 50%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 43%
Self absorbed |||||||||||| 43%
Conflict seeking |||||| 23%
Need to dominate || 10%
Romantic |||||||||||| 43%
Avoidant |||||||||||||| 56%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 70%
Wealth |||||||||||| 50%
Dependency |||||||||||| 43%
Change averse |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Sexuality || 10%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||| 56%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Food indulgent |||||| 30%
Histrionic || 10%
Paranoia |||||||||| 36%
Vanity |||| 16%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Female cliche |||||||||||| 43%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
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the used:> [Mar. 10th, 2005|05:34 pm]
[mood |confusedconfused]
[music |I never told you what I do for a living- MCR]

OMGOMGOMGOMG.....I saw The Used DVD with Alanna. It was so beautiful. Quinn is so hot, although I realized Bert is a very sexual being. Anyways, I have come to the realization that the object of my affection hates me. Oh well, what can I possibly do. I hate men dammit. I think I hate people in general. My wifes Sarah and Lawren love me at least. They give me hugs. Unlike the object of my affection, who will say nice things to me at times and then ignore me. Its kind of sad really. Today, me and Sarah went frolicking in the snow. It was cold fun. Krissay left for Floriday today:(. What am I going to do without her? I guess I'll have to make out with the water fountain for her.
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